Thursday, April 3, 2008

This one's for you, Punkinhead...

Okay, I can't believe I'm about to tell this embarassing story about myself out here on the Internet. But I've never been one for putting my best foot forward, so here goes...

So it's well known amongst my friends that housecleaning is NOT my strong suit. In fact, just last week I needed to use the large vacuum cleaner (not the stick vac, which is my bestest cleaning friend) for an emergency cleaning situation which involved scooping up some dead bugs off of the floor. Gotta love springtime in the south. Now, I'm not one for picking up bugs in my little hands, even with a huge wad of toilet paper, and I had tired of waiting for dear hubby to do this nasty chore for me. So out came the big red mama vacuum. I drag it out and realize that -oh crap- I'm going to have to put an ATTACHMENT on this thing. So I start tugging and pulling at random parts of the vacuum cause I don't actually know which parts are the core machine and which parts are the attachments stuck around the base.

After much tugging and pulling, I have enough of the right kind of pieces to suck the little dead guys up. Now I've got to turn it on. After a quick once-over I locate the power button, and push it. Nothing happens. I turn it off and turn it on again. Still nothing. Nada. Then it dawns on me that, like most electrical equipment, it must plugged into a wall socket for it to work. Yep, stay-at-home mommy Anne did not know how to use her vacuum cleaner.

BUT that's not the embarassing story I was here to tell. That was just the warm up, so maybe you'd understand exactly how nasty our bathroom floor was yesterday morning. Cause I HADN'T taken the big red mama vacuum in there. And the bug man was coming that day. And so because I didn't want him to see the dirty bathroom, I spent about 30 minutes on my hands and knees on the floor gathering up all the dustbunnies and throwing away all stray Hershey miniature wrappers and any other strangeness left strewn on the floor behind my 4-year-old. With my daughter's help, we got it all done with about 20 minutes to spare before the appointment. Yay for us, right????

Yeah, NOT. Because it was about an hour after the bug man left that I needed to use my nice, clean bathroom. The one I had hurriedly cleaned lest my bug man know exactly how dirty my house usually is. So one with the nice white tiles and dusted baseboards. Only to find that sweet little girl had needed to use the potty and not flushed. Number TWO. And of course, it was the master bathroom so I'm sure the guy thought it was I who had not flushed. I was mortified.

Dude... Good thing the tiles were clean, right???

5 comments:

Julie Anne of Diamondmeenuh Creations said...

I used to have to send Precious and Buddie, two of my tiels (who've sinced crossed over) out of the room to vacuume because as I'd vacuume, they'd throw food at me, "Look Mom! You missed a spot!" My tiels, all 14 of them over the years, know the word 'bug'. They actually coordinate with one another and whomever the bug is closest to will yell 'bug' and look at it. This goes on, loudly, till little old me get up, grabs the vacuume, and chases the nasty bug around the living room with the vacuume cleaner hose until it's sucked up. Yup, empathize with your story. Just be glad the tiles were nice and squeaky clean!

ElegantSnobbery said...

LOL!!!! That is hilarious and gross. I think we must be messy mom twins, because cleaning is my number one most hated thing to do in the world.

ThisOldHenHouse said...

hahahahahaha, that was freaking hilarious!!! Ahhhh the perks of motherhood!

idyll hands said...

I laughed out loud while reading this.

Denise Felton said...

Go, Livvie! Go, Livvie! hahahahaha *left him a present*